By Sarah Greer Osborne
Olga Rodriguez recalls her niece’s wedding day like it was yesterday. “I
remember thinking wow, this is the beginning of a new life for her,” she
says. A month later, 18 year old Daniela Huertas was dead at the hands of
her new husband and Rodriguez was at her niece’s funeral. “That
day, I made a promise to Daniela,” says Rodriguez. “I
promised that her death would not be in vain and through her tragedy other
young lives would be changed and inspired.”
From the living room of her small apartment, Rodriguez set out on a mission,
a mission to save other young girls from domestic violence. In Daniela’s
honor she created ROYALTY, which stands for Reaching Our Young and Adult
Ladies through Tragedy. “One of my favorite quotes is, the things
that happen to us in life do not determine who we are, the way we respond
to them determines who we are,” Rodriguez says holding back a tear. “If
I can save one life, I have succeeded.”
Rodriguez aims to share Daniela story with as many young girls as possible.
Armed with her nieces wedding video, she visits Houston area middle and
high schools to encourage, inspire and educate young girls on how to make
wise dating decisions. She admits there were warning signs that’s
Daniela boyfriend and eventual husband would become physically abusive;
signs that Daniela and the rest of her family should have acted on. “He
was extremely controlling,” she says. “Even to the point of
determining who she could talk to, where she could go and even what she
could wear. Girls need to know that sort of controlling behavior is not
a sign or love, it is a sign that they could be in danger.”
At a recent visit to a Houston middle school, Rodriguez passes out tiaras
to a group of 8th grade girls to let them know they are deserve to be treated
like a princess. The goal is to encourage the teens to be leaders not followers,
to be reliant not co-dependent and to establish values and principles that
lead to a healthy self esteem. She also passes out a calendar she
created. Every page tells the same story—a young girl killed by someone
who claimed to love her. Rodriguez interviewed each girl’s parents
and printed the warning signs the girls chose to ignore. Daniela’s
story is featured in January. “I wanted this calendar to bring
awareness to teen dating abuse,” she says. “My hope is that
a mother buys this calendar for her daughter and just doesn’t hand
it to her, she sits there and talks to her about it.”
During her school visits, many of the girls feel comfortable enough to
talk to Rodriguez about their own dating experiences. Some have shared stories
of friends they know who are being physically abused by their boyfriends.
Others describe their own boyfriend’s’ behavior to inquire if
it is inappropriate. “Many of the questions have to deal with technology,” she
says. “If a boyfriend is texting and face booking you all the time
to find out what you are doing and who you are with, that is not a normal,
healthy relationship.”
Rodriguez hopes by having an open dialogue with these girls, she can encourage
them to either end an abusive relationship or at least know not to get into
one. She advises parents to do the same; know the warning signs and look
for changes in your daughter’s behavior once they start dating. "If
I can help even one young girl get out of an abusive relationship or prevent
her from going into one by sharing Daniela's story, by sharing my family
tragedy, then Daniela did not die in vain," she says.
For information on ROYALTY or to purchase a calendar, visit www.royalty4daniela.org.
Ten Warning Signs of an Abusive Relationship
* Excessive Texting or Phone Calls
* Blames you for his/her anger.
* Serious drug or alcohol use.
* History of violent behavior.
* Threatens others regularly.
* Insults you or calls you names.
* Trouble controlling feelings like anger.
* Tells you what to wear, what to do or how to act.
* Threatens or intimidates you in order to get their way.
* Prevents you from spending time with friends or family.
NATIONAL TEEN DATING ABUSE HOTLINE
1-866-331-9474
